How can one learn to talk frankly?
10.06.2025 00:00
An example.
I too wanted to spend some good quality time with my husband but how to tell her?
My husband's colleague married my friend. For one day her husband went out of station. So, she came to me, I also told her to stay in my house since my husband also was out of station for past 18 days on official duty.
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Then he suddenly said, “you can take those CDs to your home to watch leisurely!! You can return them later”!
I asked him controlling myself, how can be he so tact less? Brutally frank? Can't he tell her in a sweet way? Though I feel bad for his plight somehow I couldn't stop asking it.
If I do the same thing with his friend, he doesn't even ask an explanation like me. He will say to him, ‘heard your bhabhi na? Good night!’
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I was shocked. Anyone can be this frank!!???
But, very few don't care what others think about them. They don't need any endorsement from others. Like my Mil and husband. They don't care. They talk What they feel.
So, what I want to tell is, it's not something to get by practice. It depends on how you want to maintain your contacts. The relation you want to maintain with them.
But, other members in my family are opposite. Too straight forward and too frank sometimes. Sounds even borderline rude sometimes . But, they are not. Just frank that's it. Take it or leave it.
Madam, please excuse us!!
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But with whom to argue? He slept already.
Sometimes, I feel I should be like them. Can escape many headaches. But not that easy, especially when you have to deal with close friends, relatives.
My husband doesn't like to stay in anyone ‘s house and at the same time not comfortable with non related people staying in our house without any valid reason.
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She is happily talking about the movie we have planned to watch. No mistake of hers. She didn't notice my husband’s gesture also.
It was so awkward and embarassing for me. I didn't expect this. I told her already to have dinner.
We all want to talk frank sometimes but don't dare. Finally we end up talking polished so we can appear polite, civilized.
So, I can't fight with him on those lines. He is not partial.
Why I couldn't? How he could talk in such a manner? You can understand. I want to maintain friendship, he is not. It doesn't matter to him.
So, start slowly. With small matters. Once you got grip and confidence you can continue. But, anything should give you happiness and peace of mind.
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It's easier said than done. Very few can talk on face. Not everyone.
Moreover, hardly he stays at home, that time he doesn't want anybody in house except me. He says ‘you have enough time to relax at home, now it's my turn, hardly I get chance’. .I agree with him because he is right. Always busy.
My husband was too tired. Field trials were going on. Hours together they work day and night. I was really irked and angry. How to show her my face next day?
If you have no financial or emotional dealing with them, it's easy to talk frank. If it's a business deal with unknown people it's easy to talk. But, may not be that easy with people you know.
But, how to send this girl home? I only told her to stay. While having dinner, he talked to her with courtesy and respect, but touching my elbow to convey her to leave.
Having said that, if it's becoming inconvenient, trouble, suffocating for you it's always better to be vocal about it.
I prefer talking truth in a polite but firm manner with known and close people. With others I can talk frank.
He said with sleepy eyes , it's his best sweet manner. How could I get offended? Infact if she didn't leave, he was about to call her husband (his friend and colleague) would have told him,” it's quite annoying to have your wife at our home at this time especially when I am damn tired and desperately wants to spend time with my wife. Call your wife.”
Next day as usual I packed his fresh clothes and sent him off. Later somehow made up with her. She understood . Such a sweetheart.
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I felt embarrassed in fact shocked, some how covered for him. She too understood and left after sometime.
We chatted happily, some more friends also joined, at dinner time suddenly my husband came. Again following day evening he has to go to some other place he told. It's a sudden visit and a surprise as well.
Or
We sat to have dinner. Her house also was in our block only. I hinted her, to go back to her place after dinner. If she was scared I will come there. She didn't catch my hint.😞 I can't be more direct than this.
Just he cuddled me and was slipping in to sleep.